Standing around at a cocktail party or the water cooler you first hear about the dynamic with the personalities of a real estate transaction than the home that was just purchased or sold. The sellers who took every light-bulb, the low-ball offer, the realty agent who took negotiations on a needless tangent that derailed the transaction, the home inspector that killed the deal and the sellers attorney whose specialty is litigation not real estate contracts.

Home buyers and sellers dont go through the home sale or purchase process very often and either want to forget the troubles or figure that the occasional reactive roller coaster ride of buying or selling a home is the norm. Often the buyer and seller dont realize that they can contribute to the roller coaster ride out of naivety or a lack of information. To take back the transaction process and become more proactive Mark Nash author of 1001Tips for Buying and Selling a Home offers some examples of personalities you might run into and how to manage them.

-Sellers. They have what you want, the house, but they need buyers to move on. Everything should be in writing, the contract, counteroffers and acceptance. Timelines for responses should be clear. Personal property included with the sale must be listed in detail. Possession should be clearly defined down to the minute. Keep terms and demands reasonable. Dont create unnecessary hurdles for buyers; they can contribute to buyers remorse. You dont have to like or meet the buyers. Perform the purchase contract in good faith.

-Buyers. They have what the sellers need, the money to cash out and move on. Review real estate contracts long before you write one. Understand the home purchase process before you enter into it. Dont think youll get everything you want; this is not an adversarial business transaction. Plan your strategy beforehand and during negotiations what you really want for price, closing date and contingencies; once youve agreed to terms in writing, it becomes difficult to change them. Dont waive rights that are boilerplate in a contract such as an attorney approval period, home inspection or the sale of your current home, without speaking to an attorney. Keep emotions in check.

-Real estate agents. Take the time to find a good one before you start the process to buy or sell a home. Ask friends, family and business associates for agent referrals. Listen carefully to what you hear about their agent experiences. The agent you retain should be a full-time, experienced (at least 3 years in the business) and produces a minimum sales volume for the market in the mid-range. Stay away from friends or family as your agent, I have seen too many agents who manipulate familiar relationships. Ask to see lists of closed buyer and sellers from the last 2 years.

-Attorneys. You need one to purchase or sell a home despite the contrary. Search for an experienced legal advisor who specializes in residential real estate law. Your uncle or a friend of a friend who is a lawyer that has a focus in corporate law, might derail a transaction because they have a propensity to litigate and not negotiate.

-Home Inspectors. Most states now require home inspectors to be certified or licensed which is good for consumers. Utilize a professional inspector that has been recommended to you by someone who has used them in the last six months. Avoid hiring an inspector your real estate agent uses, they might be a bit too cozy for your unbiased needs. Look for an inspector who looks at the big picture, every home, new or old, has some minor repair issues. You want to investigate the structural integrity and discover any material defects in a home. The best inspectors don't give advice on negotiating the purchase price based on inspector results or solicit buyers for the work to repair inspection deficiencies.

-Mortgage Loan Consultants. Don't be lured by low teaser rates on mortgages, often their are hefty fees later to close the loan. Look for a major mortgage company that has competitive rates, responsive and organized loan consultants and require your consultant to attend the closing, I've seen more mortgage melt-downs at closing than I care to remember.